Burning the Furniture

I get the same question pretty frequently when I am traveling, "Why do you travel solo?" I figure it is time that I come up with an answer to that. As I thought about it, I discovered the answer is a bit more complicated than I first thought. There is a simple answer, I don't really have another option. I have been single all of my life, so I don't really have a built in travel partner. Not being satisfied with that answer, I dug a little deeper. What I found may come as a surprise to some of you. I don't like people. Okay, that isn't completely true. I like people, some of my best friends are people. So a more accurate answer is that I am an introvert. I am going to let you in on a little secret, a lot of teachers and performers are introverts. Yes, those people that literally earn their living by talking in front of crowds don't like interacting with people. Okay, that isn't really true either. Most introverts, at least the ones I know, are perfectly fine with people, talking in groups, or being in the spotlight. We can "perform" when called upon just as well as extroverts. The difference comes when we are done. Perfroming, for lack of a better term, does different things to the emotional storage tanks of introverts and extroverts. Performing for an extrovert fills their tank. It burns physical energy but it replenishes their emotional tank. With introverts it burns the same physical energy, but it also burns emotional energy. When I am done teaching for the day, my emotional tank is running on fumes. Did I enjoy the day? Yes, I love what I do and wouldn't trade it for anything. Am I ready to not see people for several hours? Yes, and I think you will find that is true of a lot of teachers. By the end of the week we are done with peopling and want nothing more than to see no one for a few days. Can I be around people on the weekend? Yes, but know that by that point my tank is empty and I am looking around for alternate fuel sources. If an introvert is out with friends on their time off just know that they are buring their furniture just to provide the energy to be social. There are some exceptions to that, at least for me. Being around my volleyball team, even on weekends, actually refills my tank. There are a few, very few, individuals that also refill my tank. If you see me out on a weekend with someone, they are most likely one of those people. This all means that by the time summer comes around all of my furniture has been burnt to keep me socially present for 9 months. I need time to rebuild the furniture so I can function for another school year. For me the thing that does that best is traveling. It allows me to see amazing places, take a lot of pictures, get some reading done, and learn about the foods and cultures of new places. Doing it solo also means that I don't have to "perform" for anyone. So that is why I travel solo, I am rebuilding my furniture so I have something to burn when I need extra emotional energy.

What Are You Waiting For?

When I started coaching high school girls volleyball I had no idea how much I would use my psychology education. Volleyball in general, and with teenage girls in particular, is a very mental game. The same team that can be unstoppable in one game can go to looking like they have never seen a volleyball in an instant. There are also matches where everyone plays timid and and cautious. As anyone that has played for me for any length of time can attest, one of the things I say in times like that is, "Stop waiting for someone else to make a play. You have to be the one to make things happen." As Christians I think we can fall into a similar trap. We look around at all of the things that are going on around us. We see all of the ick that is happening and we pray that God would do something. We wait for some divine intervention or someone else to step up and take on the task. We keep waiting for someone else to act and to tell us what to do. When God doesn't send someone or do something we shake our heads and wonder why He hasn't done anything. I think God's message would be the same that I give my players, "Stop waiting for someone else!" We need to stop waiting for someone else to act in our stead. When you see things that need fixing, instead of waiting for someone else to do something, get to work. Perhaps, just like Esther, you were made for such a time like this. Matthew West released a song about a decade ago called Do Something. Take a few moments to check it out.

I Wish You Could See

I coach middle school and high school girls volleyball and I have for many years now. One of the things I tell my young charges is that when I watch them play I see two versions of them. I see the young, just learning the game player and the player that they can become. I tell them this so they know that when I am pushing them it isn't because I am mad at them or don't like them, it is because I see what they can become and I am trying to get them to the point. I am also a middle school and high school math teacher and I treat my students the same way. I see the people they can become and I push them as hard as I can in that direction. Some fight it and others flourish under it. This has really hit home in the last few years when I have had students that have faced issues that no teenager/pre-teen should ever have to face and are dealing with real world things that adults would crumble under. These struggles have manifested themselves in classroom struggles that allowed them to get overlooked and just passed along. I keep gently pushing and nudging them toward the future that I know they can have if they could just see themselves like I see them. I thought that was what I wanted to write about, but I was having trouble forming it into something "spiritual" as that is apparently what this space has come to be. I have had this title for months. I have had the parts you have already read for nearly as long, but I haven't had any idea what to do with it. Then I realized that I am them. I am the person floundering and thinking that I will never get this. I will never be good at this. I will never be... fill in the blank. I keep saying those things and God is looking at me saying, "I wish you could see you the way I see you. "When we look at ourselves we see the grimy, sinful person we are while God sees His child made in His image that was made for a purpose. He sees the purpose that we not only can, but will, fulfill. God is looking at you saying the same thing, "If you could only see..." When you feel God pushing outside of your comfort zone, it isn't because He is mad at you, it is because He sees what you will be, not what you are.